I’ve just read one of my friend’s blogs which I can pretty much relate to.  I also have my share of “funny” feelings for someone at work, unlike my friend though I ended up completely falling for the person.  It took me a long time to actually acknowledge the feeling because I was waging a losing war to it.  I am very much aware of the risks and the consequences: that he would eventually know, that he won’t return the feelings I have for him even if I roll over, that the whole human race would know what I feel and would be the center of attention, that he may love somebody else altogether…

Which in all turn are all true.  He eventually knew, it was obvious he never returns my feelings I have for him but never rolled over, the whole human race knew my love for him but never became the center of the attention, it’s more on center destruction actually and yes he loves somebody else…the greatest pain of all…

So where do I go from here?  Running away from the source of both my joy and pain is appealing but will not solve anything.  Ignoring it is not an option either.  This is something I brought to myself and I will bear its consequences and also because he became a friend of mine, this should not stop me from harboring hatred just because he can’t love me back.  So I hold my head up high and hope that I look normal to the rest of the world while I slowly bleed inside.