anger management maybe?

I have a right to my anger and I don’t want anybody telling me I shouldn’t be and that something’s wrong with me because I get angry.
                                                                                                          —Maxine Waters

But how long before it becomes an abusive form of self-exprssion?  How long before it would affect everything around you?  How long would it be before it kills you?

For me, anger is something I have integrated in my personality, something that distinguishes me from others because of the volatility of my temper.  Some like to see that anger, some don’t, some appreciate it (because at least they can see it) and some don’t.  It not only shows that you don’t take shit, but also you’re not going to let anyone trample you.

When it goes out of control and affects other things, like work, that’s a different issue.  I’ll be fired if this goes on.  So far I’m enjoying my job at the same time I am also feeling exhausted because of so many things we’re doing here.  We deal with second level support (dedicated or not), create reports, monitor things that needed to be monitored, cover other colleagues’s asses if needed.  Like what is happening right now. 

I lost it, as my boss said and that needed to be remedied or there’s nothing they can do for defense.

Or maybe I am just out of touch with what I used to do in my job.  Before, I was just dedicated to provide secondary support on the bay but now, I feel worse than a secretary.  Added responsibilities for a supervisor huh?  Think like a supervisor, as my boss said.  Maybe that’s my problem, I never think of my position as something supervisory because my thinking is more on the job description behind it instead of just merely a position. 

Or maybe I should just stop losing my head and keep my feet on the ground.  I don’t want to die a painful death especially if it’s my fault.
 

testing

My father is on his way to the hospital.  It’s nothing serious really, but it’s because he has to undergo both endoscopy and colonoscopy which requires spending the night in the hospital.

Yesterday, my sister filed a two-day leave because of that and I decided to do the same thing as well, but my sister said instead to file a one-day leave since tomorrow is kind of critical because that would be the time my father would undergo those procedures and there’s also the part of paying the hospital bills. 

But since my work has group insurance, which covers both outpatient and inpatient and can have dependents on that insurance (in my case I have my parents), it means that my father can stay in the hospital without paying anything.  This is possible if the hospital he’s in is accredited by the insurance company, which in this case it is.  If it isn’t then there’s always reimbursements.  I file so many reimbursements that the nurses in the office were sick and tired of me poking my head inside the clinic.  Hey, it’s my right as an employee, so who cares?  It’s a benefit few companies have.

One of the reasons why I filed for an emergency leave is because my sister is the one who would keep an eye on my father for the evening.  That would definitely make her sleep less than 8 hours because, she has to help out my dad in preparing for getting examined tomorrow morning.  Come next morning, she would be sleepy and maybe out of focus.  Not to mention that she can be cranky as hell when she lacked sleep (who wouldn’t be?).

This just in: sister just sent me an SMS saying that an authorization letter is needed from the insurance company.  I called (with MOD’s permission) my sister on her mobile and ended up talking to my mom.  While I was speaking to her, I can hear my sister and father arguing in the background so I couldn’t help myself saying that they’re killing each other already.  Now I would need to call the insurance hotline to inform them that my father is now in the hospital.

Oh joy. 

Calling the insurance hotline is annoying because it took me 3 tries to get someone on the line and I have a horrible feeling that the rep I spoke with thinks that St. Louis Hospital of the Sacred Heart and SLU Hospital are two different hospitals.  I hope not or I may have to bug them again.

And boy am I annoying when I bug people.

patience please

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